This past weekend I came upon a quote that really spoke to me. It opened a can of worms (so to speak) in my heart. As I've been progressing down my road to happiness I've had my ups and downs. Lately I've been in the up part but there has always been something that keeps part of me down. The thing that keeps holding me back is my feelings about a certain boy. Boy has broken my heart in a seemingly unfixable way. No matter what I do and how hard I try to let him go, I just haven't been able to. Our relationship has always been confusing and undpredictable but it's been absolutely enjoyable at the same time. Even though he's found someone new, he keeps randomely coming back into my life. It's hard for me to handle and it makes me miss him more each time he talks to me.
However, for the very first time after I found this quote, I realized what was holding me back from letting him go. Forgiveness. During (and after) our relationship, Boy didn't always act in the best ways. He's caused me to cry more times than I can count. I've always blamed him for my broken heart. He's the one who wouldn't give us a chance, he's the one who always has excuses, and he's the one who talks about great things but can never follow through with actions. Now, I've finally understood that in order to let him go, I have to forgive him. Truly and completely forgive him. I can't blame him anymore. I can't blame myself either.
Forgiveness isn't easy and even though I know it's what I need to do, it's still going to take some time. I'll keep praying about it and I know that when I'm whole heartedly ready to forgive him, than God will take the burden off of me and the healing will be complete. I will have successfully let him go because I'll know that it doesn't matter what he did to me or why he did it, he's forgiven and I won't have a reason to be hurt anymore.
So I guess to conclude, I just want to say that if there's some area in your life that is holding you back and you can't quite seem to let it go, then you need to forgive. Forgive the person and move on...don't just say that you've forgiven them. Truly and unconditionally forgive them. You'll be better off for it in the long run. Forgivness heals your soul and helps you to become a stronger person.
This is the quote:
"To forgive is to set a prisoner free and to realize that the prisoner was you."- Lewis B. Smedes (a Christian author).
The Journey Travelled
13 years ago