Courage

Courage is my word of the week. I'm trying to do everything in my power to be a courageous person. Prior to this week, I thought of courage as something only needed for heroes. Now I realize that courage is an everyday thing. I'm courageous because I'm trying to overcome my anxiety and depression. I'm courageous because I'm finally letting go of my future and giving it to God, knowing that he will take care of me. Everyone is courageous in some aspect of their lives and I think that we all need to take time to realize that and to appreciate it. Courage, or the ability to face your fears, is one of the most important qualities a person can have.

Sometimes I wonder if I'll have enough courage to make it through these hard times. Everyday is still an uphill battle for me. I'm trying to see the good but it's a struggle. I feel isolated from the world. I wake up, go to work, come home, hang out with my mom and go to bed. That is all my life consists of. I have no friends that I can hang out with or to even talk to. Everyone gets caught up in their own lives and has their own schedules, which of course is just part of life. I'm also trying to find the courage to move on from a broken heart and to let go of someone I truly care about. I'm trusting that God took him away from me for a very good reason and that someday I'll understand why (even if that day is in heaven). In the meantime I just have to accept it and move on. He's gone and as they say "there's no use crying over spilled milk."

I guess the plus of being alone all of the time is that I'm really starting to find myself again. I've been able to read more than I have in years. I get lost in my books and I love it. It helps me to realize that the world is waiting for me and all I have to do is find the courage to step outside, relying on the Lord to be there for me when I stumble.

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go."Joshua 1:9