Saturday, December 11, 2010

Sweetly Broken

Lately I've spent a lot of time thinking about how to embrace the present. Most of the time I feel like I'm trapped in the past or future. I wish desperately that I could change events that have already gone by and I worry constantly about what is going to happen.... I can't live like this anymore. I wish with all my heart that college wasn't over and that I could be back with my friends, enjoying all the day to day laughs. I wish that I could go back to when I first met Boy and change the outcome of our relationship. I wish that I could know where I will be in five years and if I'll ever get a better paying job. There are so many things that I want to know or change in my life that it's CONSUMING my life!

I've finally come to the conclusion that in order to be happy I have to let it all go and acually enjoy what I have right now. Instead of wishing that I could go back to college, I can be thankful that I no longer have homework and that I'm an educated adult. Instead of wishing that Boy and I could have had a fairy tale ending, I can acknowledge the great times I had with him and know that even though he wasn't my fairy tale ending at least he got to be part of my fairy tale. Also, I can appreciate the fact that I have a class full of kids who care about me and that is far more important than the salary I make.

I don't know where I'll be in five years from now, one year from now or even one month from now. The only thing that I do know is that if I stop worrying and just give my life to God, it will all work out. I was listening to the song "Sweetly Brokent" the other day and it made me realize that God won't give me anything that I can't handle. I should be encouraged when trials present themselves in my life because I know that in order to have a better life and be a stronger person I have to first be "sweetly broken". The worst times in our lives are when we see ourselves for who we really are....they are the times that motivate us to appreciate all that we have and the people who love us. If I have faith in God's plan it will all work itself out eventually. I just need to learn the skill of patience. :)

Here are some quotes/verses that really helped to inspire me:
"Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that He may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you."1 Peter 5:6-7

"Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved."
- Helen Keller

"Opportunities fly by while we sit regretting the chances we have lost, and the happiness that comes to us we heed not, because of the happiness that is gone."- Jerome K. Jerome

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