Discouragement

The last couple of weeks have been a very depressing time for me. Everything that could be going wrong is. i've been told by EVERYONE that there's zero chance of me getting a job this next year. No one is hiring elementary teachers and if they are, the competition is ridiculous. On average there are about six to seven HUNDRED applicants per position. My chances of even getting an interview are less than 5%. As one prospective employer told me at the job fair, I have nothing that puts me above anyone else. I have no pertinent or useful life experiences, a crap gpa, not enough passion and am unable to coach/supervise extra-curricular activites. After that lovely conversation I realized that even though it's upsetting, it is true. There's no reason for them to hire me over the other 699 applicants. My friend Jo E.'s done everything you could imagine (i.e. worked with children around the world), has a perfect gpa, can coach any sport, be the advisor to any club, and shows a real committment to futhering children's education (at least in an interview).

So now I'm faced with the ugly truth that my future plans have all gone down the toilet. I've applied to 18 school districts all over the Pacific Northwest and haven't received a single response back. I'll be stuck at home for the next two to three years, working nights at anyplace that will hire me so I can sub during the day, and hating every minute of my life. As an extra crappy bonus to my situation, most school districts aren't even hiring subs because they already have too many. The school district told me that at best I would sub for 30% of the time. I'd also be making only slightly above minimum wage, getting no benefits and not having it count towards my retirement. Yippee.

It's times like this where I truly hate being poor and in debt. I have no options but to stay in a place I hate and pretend that everything's okay because there's no other way that I could survive. So here I am beginning my ever exciting post grad journey...wasting away years of my life doing nothing productive.